Flowery Metaphors and Flattery

"Hey man do you mind writing a poem for me?

"Sure, I've actually got a couple half done. Just let me know when you want it and I'll send it to you."

I didn't think that he was actually going to ask me for a poem, but two weeks later he did. We had discussed a sonnet I was in the middle of, and he said that he wanted it, because she was kinda into Shakespeare. Little did he know that the sonnet was nowhere close what he wanted. I assume he wanted something sweet and lighthearted, so I decided to do away with the sonnet. I put together a couple lines I was planning on organizing into something, and then added a final stanza with her name in it. This was the product:

The sun of my day and moon of my night,
With you on this earth I live with delight.

Words cannot express your effect on me
When your beautiful eyes are all I see.

My head in the clouds and tongue lost for words,
When I'm with you my heart flies with the birds.

Oh how you turn my frown into a grin
you make me feel amazing, Katherine.

First of all, my friend told her that it was sonnet, even though I specifically told him that it wasn't one, because I figured he'd send it to her without thinking twice. She was not amused (I found it funny that my friend didn't know what a sonnet was). She said that it sounded like "a google poem" and "too generic". At first I was disappointed, I thought it was alright, but later on I found out that she meant it in a good way (if a generic google poem can be taken in a good way). Apparently she meant that it was so good that there's no way that my friend could have wrote it, and that it seemed too "professional". This was encouraging. All day I had been doubting my ability to write poetry because I had failed to impress my 15 year old friend's girlfriend. The generic comment still lingers in my thoughts, but I guess it's because I didn't really put any heart into the poem. All it really is, is a couple of flowery metaphors and some flattery. I have one poem which is done, and I think it's not bad at all. Free verse, but that's not a bad thing. I've also got a sonnet 99% done, well, actually done, I just need to polish it off. It's just that I hate erasing what I've wrote. It kills me to do it, even if I'm not happy with I've already got. I suppose I shouldn't cling on to my mediocre lines as if I've accomplished something, and that I should only be satisfied once I'm sure that the poem will evoke the kind of response that I want from it.

Crazy Nick and Writing.

Then I see Nick walking around with a plastic bag on his head. He was wearing a clear plastic produce bag from Longo's like a tuque. I said hi then snatched the bag off of his head.

"What the hell are you doing?"

I threw the bag in the recycling, then he grabbed the bag from the recycling and put it back on his head. He explained to me that there really was no reason to not wear it. I told him that people don't wear bags on their heads. They just don't; that's not what bags are for.

"Why not? what's wrong with it?"

"You look like you're crazy."

"That's the point. See, people don't need to be crazy to look crazy and people don't need to look crazy to be crazy."

"But everyone who sees you will think that you're crazy."

"So? they think I'm crazy and they're the only ones who are affected."

"Not really. By you wearing that bag on your head you're changing the way you feel about yourself, you're going to act differently because you're expressing a certain... individuality."

"I guess you're right."

I ripped the bag off his head and thrust it into a nearby recycling bin.

I'm looking forward to build season ending. I need time to read and write. We'll still be working steady until regionals, but at least we'll get sundays off again. Aside from my spare I have no free time because of robotics and I use that for homework. I have however managed to type up My Raison D'etre, in my downtime. I even got Brittany to edit it. She said that she loved the plot, but I needed to make Clair special. She's got no substance. I've added in a paragraph about Martin's feelings towards her and I'm planning on adding more. Maybe some idiosyncrasies and better description.


Asgiga approached me in the library yesterday and urged me to publish Thoughts. I guess I would but I don't know if I could publish just one short story. I told her about my plan of getting an anthology together and I think that enthusiastic may have been an understatement. I could possibly have my first fan. I asked her if she'd like to edit my two newest stories and she said yes. I'm awaiting a response from her. Speaking of which, Shenelle finally got back to me on Heavenly. She gave me some good constructive criticism. I'll need to get around to better developing Peter and Rachel's relationship.

I think I should 'come out of the closet' as an amateur writer to my classical civs class. I think that Ms. Rajabalan would be interested in my stories and that some of my classmates would be too. Of course there are a couple sour kids who don't give a shit about anything, but there are a couple who I think will be genuinely interested. I think I will get my work out there. Maybe I'll drop something in the question box next time it's passed around, or just bring it up in class one day. I really haven't done anything to stand out yet, but maybe this is my opportunity to arouse a certain classmate's interest in me. Today I thought of saying to her: "I was going to get you a rose, but I couldn't find one nearly half as beautiful as you are." ... I didn't say it.

This is going to be my last summer break and I really want to do something worthwhile with it. The last couple years (minus the one with the police job) I've spent wasting away with my friends. I've got nothing to show for them except for having read a lot of Shakespeare and probably some liver and/or brain damage. Oh, and a rearranged nose. The last few summers have left me with plenty of stories, but nothing I can say that I'm actually proud of.

This summer all I want to do is complete my Shakespeare collection and write some stories. I imagine myself spending a lot of time at Stan Wadlow reading and the rest of it at my kitchen table writing. I've thought up an outline for my next story. This time no one dies and no one is in love. I think that it's going to be a bit more of a challenge to write than the others, because love and tragedy are something special. No matter what someone dying means something and love does too unless it's cheesy and sickening. I'd give an example but I don't think I need too.

One thing I don't look forward to is getting a job. I know that it's in my best interest, just so I have some money saved up for when I go off to university, but I don't want to spend my summer working. I want to wake up everyday with nothing that I don't want to do on my to do list. It's funny, I actually enjoy certain kinds of work, but I don't want to work. Oh well. I'll figure it out.

I'm looking forward to going off to university next year, but there is one giant concern which kills me to just think about it. I'll be sure to address it in due time - and even though I really shouldn't have anything to worry about because it has already been fundamentally solved, I can't help but be bothered by it. "Bothered" is an understatement. It actually scares the crap out of me. There is nothing I fear more than this possibility becoming reality. Me and Brittany have already talked about it in a therapeutic session that involved me laying on her floor spilling my guts - and she hit the nail on the head with her conclusion. I'll be sure to deal with it directly in due time. I have a feeling that I'll follow up on this post pending a successful resolution, just so that my feelings are preserved in the internet. This event, however solved it may already be, cannot be ignored by my conscience. Although I really shouldn't have anything to worry about, there is nothing I fear more than a slight possibility becoming reality. I'll talk to her about it soon enough.