Flowery Metaphors and Flattery

"Hey man do you mind writing a poem for me?

"Sure, I've actually got a couple half done. Just let me know when you want it and I'll send it to you."

I didn't think that he was actually going to ask me for a poem, but two weeks later he did. We had discussed a sonnet I was in the middle of, and he said that he wanted it, because she was kinda into Shakespeare. Little did he know that the sonnet was nowhere close what he wanted. I assume he wanted something sweet and lighthearted, so I decided to do away with the sonnet. I put together a couple lines I was planning on organizing into something, and then added a final stanza with her name in it. This was the product:

The sun of my day and moon of my night,
With you on this earth I live with delight.

Words cannot express your effect on me
When your beautiful eyes are all I see.

My head in the clouds and tongue lost for words,
When I'm with you my heart flies with the birds.

Oh how you turn my frown into a grin
you make me feel amazing, Katherine.

First of all, my friend told her that it was sonnet, even though I specifically told him that it wasn't one, because I figured he'd send it to her without thinking twice. She was not amused (I found it funny that my friend didn't know what a sonnet was). She said that it sounded like "a google poem" and "too generic". At first I was disappointed, I thought it was alright, but later on I found out that she meant it in a good way (if a generic google poem can be taken in a good way). Apparently she meant that it was so good that there's no way that my friend could have wrote it, and that it seemed too "professional". This was encouraging. All day I had been doubting my ability to write poetry because I had failed to impress my 15 year old friend's girlfriend. The generic comment still lingers in my thoughts, but I guess it's because I didn't really put any heart into the poem. All it really is, is a couple of flowery metaphors and some flattery. I have one poem which is done, and I think it's not bad at all. Free verse, but that's not a bad thing. I've also got a sonnet 99% done, well, actually done, I just need to polish it off. It's just that I hate erasing what I've wrote. It kills me to do it, even if I'm not happy with I've already got. I suppose I shouldn't cling on to my mediocre lines as if I've accomplished something, and that I should only be satisfied once I'm sure that the poem will evoke the kind of response that I want from it.