This is going to be my last summer break and I really want to do something worthwhile with it. The last couple years (minus the one with the police job) I've spent wasting away with my friends. I've got nothing to show for them except for having read a lot of Shakespeare and probably some liver and/or brain damage. Oh, and a rearranged nose. The last few summers have left me with plenty of stories, but nothing I can say that I'm actually proud of.

This summer all I want to do is complete my Shakespeare collection and write some stories. I imagine myself spending a lot of time at Stan Wadlow reading and the rest of it at my kitchen table writing. I've thought up an outline for my next story. This time no one dies and no one is in love. I think that it's going to be a bit more of a challenge to write than the others, because love and tragedy are something special. No matter what someone dying means something and love does too unless it's cheesy and sickening. I'd give an example but I don't think I need too.

One thing I don't look forward to is getting a job. I know that it's in my best interest, just so I have some money saved up for when I go off to university, but I don't want to spend my summer working. I want to wake up everyday with nothing that I don't want to do on my to do list. It's funny, I actually enjoy certain kinds of work, but I don't want to work. Oh well. I'll figure it out.

I'm looking forward to going off to university next year, but there is one giant concern which kills me to just think about it. I'll be sure to address it in due time - and even though I really shouldn't have anything to worry about because it has already been fundamentally solved, I can't help but be bothered by it. "Bothered" is an understatement. It actually scares the crap out of me. There is nothing I fear more than this possibility becoming reality. Me and Brittany have already talked about it in a therapeutic session that involved me laying on her floor spilling my guts - and she hit the nail on the head with her conclusion. I'll be sure to deal with it directly in due time. I have a feeling that I'll follow up on this post pending a successful resolution, just so that my feelings are preserved in the internet. This event, however solved it may already be, cannot be ignored by my conscience. Although I really shouldn't have anything to worry about, there is nothing I fear more than a slight possibility becoming reality. I'll talk to her about it soon enough.